It is cold. And dark a lot. And brown. And gloomy. And I just cannot Let It Go, Let It Go.
The Milkmaids...they like the snow. They like the prospect of snow days. They like the jackets and boots. They wanna build a snowman. (Did you just mentally sing "Do You Want to Build a Snowman" because I did) And no...I do not. Because I don't like it. It isn't even one of those green eggs and ham things where maybe if I tried it. Nope, Sam-I-Am...I am out on winter. Not with a mouse not in a house. Not here or there. I do not like it anywhere. Well, actually, I like it anywhere but here. You can have your winter, but leave me out of it.
You think winter cares if I like it? Probably not. It still comes around once a year. Stealing the leaves off the trees. Bringing the blackbirds in like a plague. I think there is a past blog post about those nasty feathered beasts. Gross. Winter takes out the green and gives us brown. Brown is good for eyes and hair. Brown grass and trees don't do it for this farmer's wife.
I like it warm and sunny. Don't worry...not too warm. But green and bright. The blackbirds move on to torture someone else. I can build a sand castle instead of a snowman. Spring, Summer, Fall, I will take them all, Sam...yes I will. I do so like those other seasons.
The smell of hay. Fresh silage is good. Happy cows sunning in a green pasture. Blue skies with puffy white clouds. No need for piles of clothes and puddles at the door. The puddles of water in my house are from swimming or the sprinkler not from melted smud. You know what smud is, dontcha? I'm going to assume you can figure it out. I have that much faith in y'all!
Unfortunately winter comes and goes as it pleases around here. If it is January and 65 today, tomorrow it will be January and -437 with a windchill of the Arctic Circle. Which is a place I wouldn't visit for all the rice in China.
Yesterday The Milkmaids were playing in the .25 inches of icy torture that fell from the sky. And the youngest Milkmaid starts screaming "It hurts! It hurts!" And I open the door to see what the commotion is about. I had already excused myself from the torture of winter and come in to make hot chocolate. (It's the only way they'd let me come in...hot chocolate all around if I can go into the sweet warmth of the house.) And my littlest milkmaid had removed one boot and one sock and was standing in the yard with one bare foot in the snow. She informed me that there was ice in her boot and she had to get it out. Well the obvious answer is to remove said boot AND sock and stand on the ice.
Momma panicked a bit...how long have I been inside? Is she gonna lose toes?!? What do I do? Because when you are facing an emergency like ice toes you immediately forget how to warm them back up....right? Well, Milkmaid #1 to the rescue. There's really no telling how long she listened to her sister scream before I came to the door, but in an instant she picked her sister up and brought her to Momma. We somehow got her 75 layers off and got her dry and socked back up. Through the tears all she could ask for was some hot chocolate. So, like a good mom, I got her some hot chocolate. Now...in all the panic of hypothermia and frost bite and toe loss Momma had a slight lapse. I handed her a small cup of hot chocolate. I said, "Here is your hot chocolate. Go sit at your table and drink it." And on her way to the table, my 3 year old, frozen toed milkmaid took a big ole swig of HOT chocolate. Momma forgot to say, "Be careful. It's hot!" Because for the love of pete, it is HOT CHOCOLATE.
That Mom of the Year Award. It's mine. Got it in the bag.
We had yet another emergency. I handled frozen feet. What the heck do I do for a burnt tongue?! Lord help us. I did what any good mom would do. I asked Dr. Google. Luckily there was no intelligent website telling me to immediately contact poison control or head to the ER. Nothing to hint at cancer or heart attack. Which there wouldn't be, but that never fails, right? You get online with slight shoulder pain and you are having a heart attack, cancer, and an ulcer by the time you shut that bad boy down. It said yogurt would do the trick or some sugar on her tongue. Doable, right? We had some banana chocolate Chobani (yum) and all was right with the world. She wouldn't, however, have any sugar put on her tongue. That would have been my first option...
Yesterday was a snow day. That in of itself is stressful for me. But I mostly felt like a complete failure as a mother.
Some days it feels like everything is wrong and nothing is going your way. You freeze your toes off, your coffee burnt your tongue (and there's no yogurt to fix it), or you are the one feeling responsible for someone else's frozen toes and burnt tongue. Sometimes life is like a big, long, miserable winter that you just can't get out of. It is dark and brown and you long for sun and color. Maybe you go from 65 degrees to -437 in a day. It is easy to get depressed and feel responsible that the world is falling apart. But if you look...you will find lessons in it all. You will find how winter, as much as I hate to admit it, is what makes you appreciate all the other seasons.
When we sat down last night and were winding down, my milkmaids sat by me on the couch, and they told me something that made the whole day just a memory...they said, "You are the greatest mommy in the world."
Really? Me? After all this crazy stuff that went on?
And they meant it.
When you feel like the biggest failure, like you've messed up beyond forgiveness...someone thinks you are the greatest in the world. I promise.
Winter is just for a time...then we get 3 seasons, winter's redemption. God says...sorry it was so stinking cold and miserable...let me give you something to be happy about. Of course in those other 3 seasons there are periods of misery...storms, exhausting heat, allergies, and fall, well it's pretty much okay. There's a lesson to be learned every day. And yesterday I learned a few lessons.
1. Sometimes trying to get away from the ice in your boot makes for a far worse set of consequences than just letting it melt and going inside to sit by the fire.
2. Always tell a 3 year old that Hot chocolate is...well...HOT.
3. Yogurt helps burnt tongues.
4. I am the BEST mommy in the world.
5. Sometimes it feels sad and cold and brown, but it won't last.
6. Bad things happen...sometimes by our own choices, but if you ask for help someone will be there. Even if they listen to you scream for a few minutes.
7. Snow days teach you lots of lessons.
I'm counting down the days until winter is over. I know there will (eventually) be an end to it. Because this too shall pass. I'm sure spring will teach me a lesson or two. Don't worry. I'll share.
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