Thursday, September 17, 2015

You Can't Plan the Wind

Hello boys and girls!! My, how I've missed you.

Life has a way of pulling you away from what's good for your soul. And you, my friends, are good for my soul.

Every time I sit down to write a blog I think about all the reasons I'm no good at it. I'm too long winded. I'm not consistent enough. I have tried being strictly an agriculture blog and I just bounce all over the place. I have nothing to say that touches anyone. Someone might take what I have to say all wrong.

Excuses are just whiny ways of saying you didn't/couldn't/wouldn't do what you were supposed to. At least that's what I tell my Milkmaids. So...I could give you excuses, but its much more to the point to say that I just haven't taken the time to sit down and type.

Sometimes you think you have life all figured out. You're just strolling along, enjoying the scenery and all of a sudden you step off into the abyss. And you think to yourself..."Self, I have made a grave mistake. I don't know what road I took to get here and it doesn't look like I can get back. Self, where did I make the wrong decision?"

Sometimes, in those times, you realize that you made all the right turns and it was meant for you to go down the path that led to the great abyss.

The path my life was on was well known. I was involved in things that I could potentially continue in for the rest of time. I put my heart into an organization that does great things, but fears change so much that they tend to destroy young interest. After a decade of fighting tooth and nail to prove my commitment and value I have finally become a casualty of their fear to grow and change.

It wasn't anything I did, nothing I said. I spent over 10 years putting my time into something that feared what I brought to the table so much, that they would rather see me walk away than allow me to serve the organization. I am guilty of a few things. I am guilty of being ambitious. I am guilty of being young. I am guilty of being a woman. I am guilty of bringing a "threat" of change. Because of that guilt, I was told that I wasn't valuable. That the time and effort I GIVE (it is all volunteer) isn't worth the change that might come with it.

I realize this is all very vague. I wrote a blog about it yesterday. And when I printed it, it was 4 pages long. And unless you are involved, it is rather boring. So...I decided to change my message.

All over the nation, in every industry, there are organizations with volunteer and paid positions. They are old school. They don't like the youngsters coming in with their computers and Facebooks and YouTubes. The computers and texting. Phone calls and emails. They are terrified of new ideas and social media. The generational gap is huge and communication is limited. These organizations that are literally dying for new members, are training new leaders and then pushing them out the door because they fear the change.

Newsflash: You cannot sustain in todays world holding onto the fear of change. You can't stay alive while running off new ideas. If you don't allow yourself to change with today's world you will not survive.

I challenge each of you to open your minds and change if it means things might get better. Fear of the unknown is normal, but allowing that fear to influence decisions has proved detrimental to many organizations. If you are going with the flow to "keep the peace," I would encourage you to make sure you aren't a part of what is discouraging new leaders wherever you are involved. Don't be the "closed road" sign that puts people on a new path, be the 80mph sign keeping traffic moving.

When I saw the signs warning me of the cliff I was walking off of, I began to pray. My identity had become so entwined with where I gave my time that I was afraid I would lose who I was. I prayed that God would help me to know exactly which path I should take. I needed it to be clear and without question. God has led me off the cliff. And the abyss isn't so bad because I know who holds me.

I am a control freak. I like to know everything that's happening. I like to think I can control the direction of my life. And sometimes God comes in to remind me that His plan is bigger. His plan is better. And His plan will sustain my life when I hand over control and follow.

In the end, I am at peace with the change of direction. I will take the abyss over the constant battle I was fighting. Because it isn't my battle anymore. I have passed the baton. Good luck to whoever ends up with it.

I believe that God works in our lives all the time. Sometimes it is very discreet so that only the ones with true, unwavering faith can see it. Sometimes He makes big gestures that are meant for us to know that He is God.

"The decisions you make determine the schedule you keep. The schedule you keep determines the life you live. And how you live determines how you spend your soul." Lysa TerKeurst wrote that in her book, "The Best Yes." I haven't finished it yet, but I'm doing the study that goes with it and it is amazing and eye opening and toe stepping on. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. We are the ones that change. We are the ones that stop listening and do whatever we want.

My path is new. I am still an agvocate. I am still a communicator. The Milkman and I will go on raising our Milkmaids, farming, and doing what we love. And what I mistook for a part of who I am, I will replace with what God wants me to be.

As I write this I'm listening to a song called "Plan the Wind" on Barrett Baber's EP, Falling Again. It is AHmazing and relates so well to what I'm trying to say. 

On this journey I will not fear the unknown. I will not fear the change. I will not fight so hard to prove that I am good enough or capable enough. I will teach my daughters that you don't have to make the change, but you should be the change. I will do my best to set my schedule to reflect the life I want to live, and spend my soul doing what's best for my family and myself.

It takes time and faith to sit and put words down for everyone to see. I put so much of myself into what I write that fear overcomes me when I hit "publish." I believe that communicating is what I am supposed to do with my life. And you guys are my first audience. I want to keep you reading and motivated.
I'm looking at my change of path differently at the end of this post than I was at the beginning.

This is going to be good.

Bonus...#BarrettBaber will be on The Voice Monday night...spoiler....he gets a 4 chair turn around! Look him him on Facebook...listen to his stuff....and vote for him on #TheVoice!