Wednesday, February 24, 2016

I Just Want My Pants to Fit

If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

If you change nothing, nothing will change.

What you will allow, is what will continue.


People don't generally like change. We like the known, the expected, the comfortable.

People say they want change. We want to embrace new things, new experiences, new people. But when it comes right down to it, we like to be comfy, cozy, in the known.

I am on a new journey. A new mission. I have started identifying the things in my life that need to change. Not that I am necessarily excited to do the work, but there are things that NEED to be different. And maybe I've found a secret that will get me there.

I read this devotional. It is "The Confident Woman Devotional." It's a daily page with a verse, the writer's thoughts, and a short prayer at the end. Twice this year a string of words has lifted off the page and smacked me upside the head, hard enough to shake me. It says,

"Do what you can do, and God will do what you cannot."

What can I do? There are plenty of things that I cannot. I have come to terms with that fact. For instance, I cannot do 20 real push-ups (girly, yes), I cannot run a marathon, (I can run to the donut shop, if I drive.) I cannot carry two full buckets of milk to feed the babies, (yes, I'm aware, I am weak.) I cannot find time to blog every stinking week. And there are so many other things that I cannot do. So...what CAN I do?

I have a tendency to want quick results. If I hop on the treadmill and spend 45 minutes one day, I'd like to hop of 10 pounds lighter and have developed a 6 pack. I have tried this. It does not work. And expecting it to only leads to frustration and disappointment. I would like to eat my veggies and baked chicken and get the above mentioned results. Disappointment. I would like to be the Pinterest mom, but I fall closer to the line of Pinterest Fail Mom. I would like to organize my office, have my accounting and tax stuff done monthly. I am awful at that. I would like to be more patient and less cranky as a mom. I haven't mastered that. And, Lord, that does not mean I am asking for patience. I do not need a new lesson in that, I just need to do better with the lessons I already have, thankyouverymuch. I need to be a better "farm wife." I think The Milkman holds more disappointment than I do about that. But, hey, I am a fair weather farmer, and when winter takes its leave, I will venture outside and help.

Probably.

Maybe.

We better not put money on it.

That doesn't even come close to the whole list of changes I'd like to make. But what I do, what I have, who I am, is comfy. It is like a pillow mattress covered in fluffy blankets and pillows, with the fan blowing, and a glass of...I don't drink wine...it really smells bad....how about a plate french fries and mac n cheese, (because, carbs.) and a Netfilx marathon, maybe a puppy or two, sleeping. It is comfy, cozy, and downright warm and fuzzy. But it isn't truly the best me I can be.

I kind of want to go to sleep tonight with the idea of the changes and wake up tomorrow with the results. But thinking about it then taking a siesta isn't all that I can do. And if I don't do my part, do what I can, I can't expect God to do what I cannot.
I also can't expect results without putting the work in. Drinking a slim fast and sleeping on it doesn't make you slim, fast.

A couple of years ago I lost about 15-20 pounds (it's back now, don't judge) and people would say things like, "I wish I could do that." "How did you do that?" And it was kind of sneering, kind of jealous tones sometimes. It would just irritate me to no end. Because, it. was. hard. I had to work to make it happen. I had to make a choice every single second of every single day.

That was a lesson. One that was quickly forgotten and I returned to the slightly heavier version of myself, that I don't hate, I just want my stinkin' pants to fit. Is that too much to ask?!

We all want to be right exactly in the place we want to be. We are envious of those that appear to be right where we want to be. And we don't understand why we can't seem to just get there.

Well, friends, it isn't a train. You don't just hop on, ride it out, and hop off at your destination.

Change, the kind we all want for ourselves, isn't just a snap decision and a happily ever after. It is a single decision every second. It is many decisions each hour. It is a decision to STOP running on autopilot and start making conscious decisions. Stop doing what comes natural, what comes easy and do what is harder. To not do what we've always done, because we want to get something we've never gotten before.

It is a choice to say no to the chocolate.
It is the decision to get up and move instead of watching another episode of Arrow on Netflix. (Yes. You should watch that show. It is fantastic.) Maybe you should have a smoothie (with yogurt, fruit, and milk instead of ice cream.) See what I did there? I helped you make that quick decision about the smoothie you will have.
It is a series of decisions that will give you results that are different that the ones you got yesterday.

Sometimes you make the wrong decision. Somedays you are too tired to run on anything but autopilot. Let's face it, sometimes you just. don't. want. to. have the yogurt. Just give me the ice cream.

But that's ok.

If you wake up tomorrow and you start your day with the decision to be positive about life. To stop the complaint and negative thought in its tracks and do something positive instead, you have started your day making the harder decision. You have made the choice to be the difference. Let me help you one more time. Repeat after me:
I choose my happiness.
I can do it.
It is many small steps, not one giant leap. And small steps, I can do.
My today will give me a better tomorrow.
I got this.

(You're welcome. You may return to reading this fascinating piece of writing.)

If you want to change the way people treat you, stop allowing them to treat you badly. It is a decision you will make over and over and over. Without realizing it, we set boundaries for the people around us. And what we allow is what we will get.

You are not a failure if you aren't seeing immediate results. You are not failing if you run on autopilot sometimes. If you desire a change, and you are doing the work to get it, even if you aren't seeing a 6 pack after 3 miles on a treadmill, you are lapping everyone choosing the easy way.

It will be hard.
You will not always make the right choice.
You will get off track.
You will eat the chocolate, the ice cream, the carbs.
You might gain a pound instead of losing one.
But the decisions you make in this very second will dictate the results you see in your life.
What you do after reading this might make the difference in you, in your future, in your kids, in your marriage.

You have the ability to do what you CAN. And if you can't seem to finish, God will do what you cannot.

Y'all, if making conscious decisions will make my pants fit again, I'm willing to give it a shot.










2 comments:

  1. Hello, Cassie! This was so sweet. Thanks for your openness and honesty!

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    1. Hello! Thank you! I appreciate you visiting my blog!

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