I have a lot of pet peeves; I'm cranky like that. But there are things that should stop. Immediately. I'm talking do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Stop. It. Now.
I have compiled a tiny little list of 6 and the reasons why. This particular list doesn't even include my top 3 or so, but some of those aren't things I should share on a public forum. I try to be fairly friendly on this blog. Key word being "try."
Lets get started.
Yes, yes, we all know it's wrong. We don't need to be judging people. But what about ourselves? You gotta stop looking in the mirror and pointing out (to yourself and anyone who listens) every flaw you can find. I have been trying to teach the Milkmaids that we are made in God's image. We are made to be who we are and we need to love ourselves. Do we sometimes make decisions that change what we look like? Absolutely. Can we make better choices? Yes! Should we take care of ourselves? You bet. But just talking about how awful my love handles are and how big my ears are creates problems not only for myself, but for the Milkmaids. If I can't be happy with myself how do I teach them to be happy with themselves? I'm not saying you (I) shouldn't work to lose a pound or two. I'm not saying that you shouldn't cut or color your hair if it makes you feel better. I'm just saying...we should be happy with the bodies we were given and do our best to take care of them.
2. Comparing our lives to everyone's Facebook life.
I really hate it when they are advertising a movie and it looks hilarious but when you go pay $477 to get into the movie theater and have some popcorn, M&Ms, and a drink, the only good parts of that movie were in the trailer. That completely sucks, right? This is what is happening on Facebook. You see the trailer of people's lives. The high points. Nobody wants to post a status like, "Today I woke up, tripped on my dog, fed the kids, made the bed, wiped a butt, cleaned the drain, thought about drinking, bought groceries, cut my finger, messed up the tuna casserole, made everyone eat it anyway, gave baths, drank, went to bed." Ok...some people do that, but those aren't the people you're looking at thinking...."Crap. If only my life was that awesome." or "I wish my husband/wife/kids were like that." or "My life sucks compared to theirs." No...but you do see those posts about how fantastic someones life/job/husband/wife/kid/dog/car/house/boat/bank account is and you get a little depressed that you aren't that awesome. Don't. Just stop it. Seriously. They aren't posting about their bad times. Their life is also mundane. They also wipe rear ends and trip on the dog. Just stop.
And if you're the one only posting about how fabulous your life is...well...Congrats. You win Facebook.
3. Teaching kids that they should be the center of the universe.
No. Just no. Stop this immediately. My kids, your kids, Joe's kids, Sally's kids...nobody should be feeding their need to be the center of the entire universe. Stop. The world is a really harsh place. And if you are making your home revolve around your child's every desire you are setting them up to fail miserably in the world. It is absolutely okay for your child to be the center of YOUR universe. But you don't have to let them know that. It can be your secret. Because they won't ever be the center of anyone else's universe. Their friends, teachers, bosses, spouses, etc will never and shouldn't ever be expected to put aside their feelings or dreams to make sure little Jim has everything his heart desires.
Love your kids. Love them to infinity and beyond. Make sure they are taken care of and nurtured. If you really love your kids, though, you will teach them that the world is a hard and disappointing place. And we don't always get everything we want. And people don't do exactly everything we want them to. Give them responsibilities and hold them to it. Give them discipline. Make them respect others and make them earn rewards. You can do it. Even when they try to manipulate you and say, "You don't love me!" tell them that you do love them, and that is why you have to be the teacher. Because if you aren't teaching them these things...the world will. And the world doesn't love them.
4. Carrying parent guilt and/or parent shaming others
These go hand in hand. I have friends that lay so much guilt on themselves that I don't know how they make it through the day. Your kid will survive if they don't get to go to every party, sleepover, school function. If they don't have every cool toy, social media account, electronic, cool shoes, or pink hair they will make it in the world. You do not have to feel guilty because you can't afford or won't allow your child to do everything they want. You don't have to feel guilty if you work. You are providing for your family. You don't need to feel guilty if your child isn't the center of your universe. You don't have to feel guilty because what you did for one child you can't do for the other. You don't have to feel guilty because last night you were busy and everyone ate spaghetti-o's and Doritos. I wouldn't make that a habit...but sometimes it is okay. You don't have to buy organic. You don't have to buy name brand. If you don't get every item from the farmer's market....nobody's life will be negatively impacted. You don't have to do every PTA fundraiser. You don't have to allow your kids to do everything that everyone else is doing. You just don't have to.
While you are busy not feeling guilty for everything you do as a parent, make sure you aren't judging other parents that are putting all of their effort into surviving. Some parents don't get to go to their children's functions. Sometimes it's because they don't care enough, but it might be because they are working their 3rd job of the day so they can provide for their family. You might not know their story. Not everyone can afford or wants to waste their money on certain types of food or certain brands of clothing. Don't judge. If that mom over there doesn't allow her kids to go to or have sleepovers, you don't have to follow her footsteps, but you don't know her reasons. Maybe that mom was molested at a sleepover as a child. We never know the reasons for people's choices. Do your best to make your decisions based on your feelings and let everyone else do the same. Just stop with the guilt and the shaming.
5. Thinking every toilet is an automatic flusher.
This is how it goes...slowly open the door of the public restroom. Walk in and bend down to see if there are feet showing. Open one stall door. Make an awful face because that one isn't flushed. Open the next stall door and think, "Holy mother...what DID they do in there? Not flush...Lawd have mercy. Open the next stall door. Give up and raise your foot to flush the lever. Wipe seat. Hover as best you can. Wipe seat, lift foot, flush. Or if you're one of the people that think all public toilets are automatic....you just walk out. That causes the scenario to just start over for the next person int he bathroom.
They aren't all automatic.
Really. They aren't. I realize the magic of today's world is put into a stall in a public bathroom. You stand up and feel like you are about to be sucked into oblivion because the toilet sounds like what a black hole must sound like at 2 feet away. But not every single public area has accepted the magic of the automatic flusher. The fear is that if you turn around to check the status of the automatic flusher it will immediately start that swirl and the force might be enough to suck you in with it, but we must face those fears and check the toilet. If it doesn't have the automatic flusher, you are safe, but required to put your foot up and push down the lever. So do this: Finish, turn and check for the lever, if there is a lever use it, if there isn't walk out, wash hands, and try to avoid touching the door handle with your bare hands, then probably sanitize. Bathrooms are disgusting. Even more so if every thinks the auto flush is always present. Be brave. Be bold. Check for the lever.
P.S. A tip for when you are potty training toddlers and they are terrified of the auto flush: Carry post-it notes in your purse and stick it over the sensor while your tiny human potties. You should probably remove it when you're done though...because there won't be a lever and a person wouldn't know that they needed to flush and the above scenario will occur.
6. Being offended.
This is just standard for a DairyWife post. Just stop being offended by everything. It's a choice. You don't have to get your boxers in a bunch because someone does or says something you don't like. Put on your big kid pants and act like a functioning adult. And for the love of all that is holy...don't get offended on someone else's behalf. Good grief. We don't need everybody running around all whiny, not only because someone offended them, but also because they think somebody else should be offended. The world needs different opinions, personalities, beliefs, and feelings to survive. Suck it up buttercup....your special feelings are not the center of the universe. See point #3.
I could run this post to infinity, but I'll stop here. Let me know what you think needs to stop immediately!
Maybe I'll write one on things we should START doing. One of those would be to start sharing Facebook posts you love. Facebook screws with the views and people reached because some of us don't wanna give them money to sponsor posts. If someone is doing something you think is awesome share it. There are tons of awesome things on Facebook that don't get seen because it's done, not for money, but to share important stuff. Like things we should stop doing. Immediately! And little life lessons hidden in our day.
I hope y'all enjoy my posts...because I enjoy sharing my insanity!
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