Lucky for me I still haven't decided what to be when I grow up. My calling is still unclear. That doesn't mean that life hasn't marked me at times. It just means I keep moving forward, looking for my indication sign of what to do next. And I ain't dead yet. So I'll keep trying to figure out exactly what God plans for my life.
We all know I'm a preacher's kid. (Not one of THOSE preacher's kids.) I don't know if I've told you or not, my daddy is also a fireman. The Milkmaids think this is just part of life. Doesn't everyone get to ride in the fire truck? Play in the fire truck? Blow the horn and turn on the sirens? And the parades....oh good lands....everyone should ride in a fire truck in a parade.
Pa comes to school sometimes. He does demonstrations. He tells everyone that his number is 911. Don't call him there, though...he doesn't answer. And they don't like it when you ask for Pa. We haven't done that, but I can imagine dispatch wouldn't be nearly as happy as you might think. But it is neat to be related to a fireman...they have all the cool toys. Another thing that happens when you are related to the fireman, is that you see the other side to the first responder's lives. You worry for their safety. You don't see things quite as innocently as a lot of people do.
We have all gone by a wreck or accident of some kind and rubbernecked at the flashing lights. We've all pulled over for the ambulance to fly by with its lights and siren. We all know the number to call and the response it will get. We expect someone to show up when we dial those three numbers and ask for help. Some people take advantage of the system and call because McDonald's got their order wrong. Or someone stole their weed. While these are emergencies to those particular people, we are reminded that 911 is reserved for real emergencies and we shouldn't call it for non-emergency reasons. MMMkay, Kids?
In an emergency situation we expect a bunch of people to show up, lights and siren, uniforms, "doctor" stethoscopes (yeah...I went there), fire hoses, guns, whatever the situation calls for. What we don't think about is the fact that each one of those folks showing up to help us has friends, kids, pets, a family, and people that love them waiting for them to come home.
The times that you are in traffic and you are trying so hard to see what is happening in the accident across the lane of traffic you don't realize that you could very well be putting the lives of one of those responders in danger. The time that you are in a hurry so you don't slide over and stop for passing emergency vehicles, you are putting lives in danger. The time that the roads are flooding and you decide you can cross it, you aren't just putting your life in danger. You are also saying that you're okay with risking the lives of the people that have to come out and save you or someone else. Driving on icy roads....not just your life you are risking. Playing with matches. Don't play with matches. I'm painting a picture...can you smell what I'm cookin'?
Be aware that all of your decisions, however minimal you may think, have the potential to put someone else's life at risk.
First responders, and I'm talking police, firemen, paramedics, etc, don't do their job because its safe. They do it because it's a calling. They don't do it because they have nothing to lose, they do it to support the people waiting at home for them. These jobs aren't glamourous. They aren't easy. These jobs are vital to our society and hard on the ones that do them.
Responding may be a calling for these folks, but the scars they receive along the way aren't something they always bargain for.
Not only are they going into some bad situations, some ugly car accidents, blazing fires, open gunfire, physical threats, they are also the first people looking at the horrific tragedy that is a person's life. They see the families that are going to get the news. They witness lives wasted and taken too soon sometimes. The things they see and do and the people they save aren't just memories that fade away. They can become wounds that don't heal.
For some of these people those invisible ones are the wounds that fester and ooze. They poison the lives of those who's whole desire was to save lives. In bad cases they tear families apart.
Pa has been a fireman for about 20 years. I can't fathom the things he has seen or the situations he has been in. I can't know the struggle of trying to make sense of a mangled body. I don't know what it feels like to walk into a fiery blaze and try to find someone screaming for help. Or doing everything you can to save a life that you end up watching fade away. My brain doesn't have the capacity to understand those things.
I lived with my dad for 8 years of his service and we have been close the other 12. I know he struggles. I know countless first responders that struggle with the invisible scars. At least the visible ones on their bodies can be explained. The internal scars are the ones that fester and refuse to heal. Those are the marks that nobody can see, that are too painful to talk about. The marks they have received in exchange for following a calling. Those marks, they didn't count on being a price they would pay. Only those closest people see those marks, even when they are hidden away.
When we make a decision that ends badly, we have to live with those consequences. When these guys (and girls) are doing their jobs, the only decision they made was to follow their calling. The consequences they suffer have a lot to do with the bad decisions other people make.
This blog post has very little to do with my life or the farm, but this is something that weighs on me. I personally know lots of first responders. And to think that their families may not get to see them walk through the door because they are out saving lives is hard to swallow. To think that some of them lose their lives because someone made a poor decision is even harder to think about. Consider this a public service announcement that the decisions we make always affect someone else.
I don't know what my calling is. Or even which of my many dreams I should fulfill. I know that it isn't becoming a fireman or a paramedic or a police officer. I have the utmost respect for the guys (and girls, of course) that have followed that calling, but I have no desire to do any of it. I won't be following in Pa's footsteps. (He will be happy to know.) But I got no promises when it comes to the Milkmaids. They really like those firetrucks.
When you see these folks out and about remember to tell them "Thank you." You never know when you might need them!
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